Many parents wonder if it’s okay to use a pacifier when their baby is crying and fussing. Most experts agree that they’re safe and effective as long as you follow simple safety rules and wean your child off them at an appropriate stage.

In fact, pacifiers appeal to a baby’s natural urge to suck as a way to get nourishment and soothe themselves.

Some research even suggests that they can have important health benefits, including reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome and helping preterm babies to gain weight.

But sometimes it is difficult for you and your child to separate themselves from using a pacifier. In my experience, my son easily took to a pacifier, bottle, and to breastfeeding. The pacifier came in especially handy when he always seemed hungry right after a feeding and I didn’t want to overfeed him.

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How to Use Pacifiers

Today’s pacifiers come in the traditional version and a wide variety of cute designs. But cute doesn’t mean it is made for you little one.

The important thing is to ensure that they’re safe for your baby.

Follow these guidelines to avoid common hazards:

Make it sturdy. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends one-piece designs that will hold together with ventilation holes to let air in. You can also reduce the risk of accidents by using a pacifier clip like this one.

Choose the correct size. Pacifiers come in 2 sizes for babies under and over 6 months. They also need to be at least one inch wide to prevent them from being swallowed. Your baby will know right away if your baby will like a certain pacifier or not, they will spit it out right away and not take to it.

Clean thoroughly. Put used pacifiers in the dishwasher until your baby is 6 months old. After that, you can wash them with soap and hot water. Most importantly, if your baby drops their pacifier on the ground/floor pick it up and clean it. I don’t know how many times I see parents just see their little one’s pacifier hit the floor and then they just pick it up and put it back in their mouth. Gross! Please have a higher standard for a baby that is new in the world.

Breastfeed first. Spend your first days or weeks becoming comfortable with breastfeeding before you introduce the pacifier. Remember that the pacifier is for soothing rather than delaying feedings. In my personal experience, giving my son a pacifier early on did not get in the way of breastfeeding for my son. He really just like to be soothed and it didn’t matter how he received it.

Watch for ear infections. You may have heard about studies that link pacifiers to ear infections. Those effects can be eliminated by giving your baby a pacifier only when they’re going to sleep. Although my son only had a couple of ear infections as a baby, they were not chronic and for as much as he used a pacifier he didn’t attribute to any ear infections.

How to Give Up Pacifiers

Some experts suggest breaking the habit as early as 6 months before any emotional attachment forms. But most agree that 4 years old is the maximum to avoid overbites and other dental issues. Each child is different, so you’ll need to decide what works for your family.

Consider these strategies:

Go cold turkey. The advice for giving up pacifiers sometimes sounds similar to giving up anything that is somewhat addictive. Different babies succeed through different methods. If you want to make it quick, discuss a quit date with your child and prepare to say goodbye to your pacifiers for good.

In my son’s case, he was almost 3 years old before he just stopped taking his pacifier all on his own. I remember, it was a Saturday morning and he just woke up without his pacifier. He usually would find it and put it in his mouth on his own, or it would be already just be in his mouth. So this was odd.

I made him breakfast and then watch him play throughout the day. The true test came when it was time for his first nap I didn’t give him the pacifier, and he didn’t fuss for it either. I just held him and rocked him and he fell asleep.

We practiced this routine and a couple days later, while we were excited that he didn’t fuss for his pacifier anymore. He came out of his room with one his mouth. I was sitting in the living room and he came out with one in his mouth smiling! He knew that it was over between him and his pacifier and he was teasing me about it. It was quite funny! But that was the last time he ever had a pacifier in his mouth. It was just a couple of months before he turned 3 years old.

The only reason why I believed he just stopped cold turkey was it was just his time. His natural ability to grow. But when this happened 2 things happened: His appetite went way up and he started talking more.

Set limits. On the other hand, you may want to proceed more gradually. Cut back on the amount of time your child uses their pacifier. You may want to save it for only those times when they feel an urgent need. Instead of letting your baby set limits, set it for them. For example, only letting your child use a pacifier when they sleep.

Tell stories. Let the Pacifier Fairy help your family through this difficult time. Some folks say you need to pack up your pacifiers so she can pick them up for recycling. I know this work for other items your child may need to let go of, like toys.

Offer rewards. Whatever strategy you use, give your child incentives for parting with their old friend. Praise them for becoming more grown up. Plan a special outing or serve their favorite meals. Give them another comfort object if needed, like a stuffed toy, or blanket.

Be consistent. Remember to stand firm if your child begs for their pacifier and ensure grandparents and other caregivers do the same. Your child will soon adjust, and it will make the process easier in the long run.

The Negative Side of Pacifiers

Trying to wean your child off pacifiers when they aren’t ready is difficult. A couple of negative side effects of pacifiers that I went through with my son can be long-term.

Dental Issues: About 6 months after my son let go of his pacifier, he had to have caps placed on four of his teeth. Two on the top and two on the bottom. All four were his 1st molars. He did have some problems with his front teeth but since these were his baby teeth, and his gums were healthy the dentist suggested it was going to be okay since they were going to fall out. The reason for these caps on his teeth were a direct result of his use of a pacifier daily.

Speech Delay: My son didn’t talk fully until he about 4 years old. Even then he had trouble explaining himself of his wants and needs. His behavior was his form of communication and when he couldn’t explain himself he would act out. When he just turned 4 years old, he was diagnosed as developmentally delayed and has been receiving speech services by a speech language pathologist ever since. Today, you cannot tell he had a speech delay but I believe his use of pacifiers hindered his progress to speak more, especially since he started speaking more once he stopped using one.

Final Thoughts

In my personal experience and if I would do it all over again, I would give my baby a pacifier. I would scale back and set limits for the use of pacifiers and my baby.

Pacifiers are comforting for your baby and convenient for you. It has been a great help when trying to get sleep, getting work done around the house, or having to leave your child to go to work. Just be sure to keep them clean and discontinue their use when your child reaches an age where they develop other ways to soothe themselves